Can you believe it?! {birth story edition}

I just have to write down all of the crazy things that happened during my hospital stay.  There were lots of mistakes made, in my opinion/experience, and if this was my first birth, I wouldn't have known to speak up.

• I was never given a hospital gown.  They are ugly as sin, but decidedly more comfortable than laboring and delivering in your underwire bra and husband's t-shirt.  After Poppy was born, the realization that they were never going to give me a gown was sinking in and I asked for one.  
• I was never offered meds after birth.  No pain relief or any of the other NECESSARY ones...I knew enough to ask for them and was given oxycodone.  Sweet relief!  
• No squirt bottle.  No pads.  Nothing was offered to me until I spoke up and told the nurses that I was going to shower (hint, hint!).  For real.  
• The skin-to-skin time had to be demanded.  That Southern nurse had a great accent, but terrible bedside manners.  She, nor any of the other nurses, asked me what my plan was for after the birth.  Although Poppy was swamped by the four specialists at birth, once she was cleared, the l&d nurses kept her and started doing their clerical work/baby measurements before letting me do skin-to-skin with her.  After my mom was like, "Um, you need to have your baby back."  
• That dang Southern nurse came in TWICE to take my baby.  Once for a bath and then again for the hearing test.  I never just give my babies to the nurses.  Ever.  So Poppy was never bathed and I went with her for (both) of her hearing tests.  
• The nurse hadn't added the mattress to my bed after the birth.  I didn't have to leave the room after delivery, but there were supposed to be changes made to the room to make it less labor-ish and more recovery-ish.  Didn't happen until that night at the shift change at 7pm after I had asked for a pillow to sit on because my nether regions were so uncomfortable.  
• This is really just my speculation, but something was up with that epidural...it just wasn't right!

So there it is...my list of gripes.  If I ever get pregnant again, I'll switch doctors just to avoid that hospital.  I'd do it all over again for little Miss Poppy Ballerina, though!  She really is an angelbaby...probably my payback after my monsterbaby Scarjo!  ;)